Betrayal
aka: A Note to a Fraud
I've had lots of different psych doctors over the years. Some I have outgrown, some have outgrown me, some have moved, and some have moved on... but no one had betrayed me until now.
I have always found it hard to trust people. I still haven't even shared this blog with all of my friends and family... and yet, I chose to trust... and that trust was misplaced.
During my move to Texas, the most difficult thing was finding new doctors. My medical history can only be described as "complex". Couple that with Aspergers, (bipolar?) depression, and generalized anxiety disorder and NO ONE wants to take you on as a patient. I was very lucky to finally find several good doctors.
When my primary care doctor recommended this psych doctor, I trusted her and therefore trusted him by default. I guess I'm naive. I saw a man who had a kind face, was from back home, was Jewish (very rare where I live now), and somehow made me feel like I was safe.
I never researched the man. The doctors I chose back home were chosen after extensive research; but for some reason, I didn't feel the need... I guess that's why he was such a good criminal.
Before I continue I do want to say that he was a good DOCTOR. He did everything he could to get me back onto the one mood stabilizer that had ever truly made a difference (and it has again). On a day when his office was closed due to a storm, I had a car accident and a panic attack... I called the office and left a message and he called me back within 30 minutes to check on me. When I experienced antisemitism, he did everything he could to help me understand that it had nothing to do with me.
I guess it's because he was a good DOCTOR, that I chose not to include his name... although his crimes are public record.
On Black Friday, the world as I knew it changed. I called the pharmacy to see why my prescriptions hadn't been filled and they told me they didn't know where my doctor was. I became increasingly agitated because they wouldn't elaborate; they just said they weren't sure if he was still practicing medicine. I thought he was just closed for the Thanksgiving weekend... if only I knew.
I went to the pharmacy to get an emergency supply of medication and, upon attempting an apology for my agitation, the pharmacist told me that he assumed I knew my doctor was going to jail for insurance and medicaid fraud. Not only was I shocked; I was angry.
I was mad that for over a month my doctor had been in legal trouble and that no one had told me. I was mad that the pharmacist just dropped the news on me like he was telling me the day of the week. I was horrified that I had trusted this man... and upon doing research, I was horrified that he was even still practicing when I began seeing him, since he was a fugitive from the law, hiding in Europe, during the early to late 90s FOR THE SAME CRIME!
Right now, I want one thing. I want to be able to look him in the eye and say this, but that's not possible, so this will have to do:
I thought you were a good man; a decent man; someone I could trust. I was WRONG! You were not worthy of my trust. Yes, you helped me but while doing so you also defrauded me. You claimed that my insurance wouldn't cover my visits even though I had an authorization number from the insurance company for 12 visits a year. My parents and I trusted you and they paid you because you were helping me. They didn't care how much it was because I was getting the help I needed... but you betrayed me. I told you the day I met you; when I was shaking, ringing my hands, unable to look you in the eye; that I have a hard time trusting people. You took the trust I had and you abused it. I don't care anymore that you helped me. You are a HORRIBLE person. You deserve every bit of punishment you have coming to you. You should NEVER be allowed to work in the medical field again! Your patients will prove to be far better people than you were.
