Growing up, I always believed my grandparents were Superman and Superwoman. It was sort of hard not to believe that… since my grandmother had a “fly button” in her car, was eternally 24 years old, and both of my grandparents stayed up way later than anyone else’s. They were also ALWAYS there when anyone needed them, just like superheros.
Since they lived about two blocks away from us, their home was my second home. I stayed over there so often that I called one of the bedrooms “my room” and the last time I was there, I took pictures of every inch of “my room”. I took those pictures because my superheros are moving. They have a new penthouse to call their new “Fortress of [Anything But] Solitude”.
The move came as a huge blow to me. I tried to fake happiness... I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening... I got massively depressed... The works. What I neglected to think about until today when my mother mentioned it was that the house was where my mom and her siblings grew up and while I feel like I grew up there, I didn’t. I have tons of memories and I spent a lot of time there, but it wasn’t my home like it was their home.
So now I’m sitting here in my room (no quotation marks) in my apartment about to embark on the same journey that I did when my parents told me they were selling our house. I am sitting here letting memories wash over me, and hoping that by recording them in this heightened state of emotion, the emotions of the memories will be captured in such a way that I will still feel them even though I can no longer return to where they were made.
Forget being a superhero for a minute; my Grammy would also have made a great private investigator. When I was still in elementary school, I began walking home to her house by myself after my brother and older cousin went on to middle school. I didn’t go there every day, but when I needed to, my Grammy clearly wanted to ensure my safety. The first day I was walking there, I felt like I was being followed. After awhile I caught a glimpse of my Grammy in her car. She was driving as slow as a turtle behind me, making sure I was safe. She did that for the first several times I made the walk alone. I never let her know that I knew she was there, but I always felt better knowing that I wasn’t going to be alone until she felt I was ready. Soon after my Grammy felt I was ready, my friend Jenny and I started walking together when I was going to Grammy’s house, and I think that made both of us feel better.
Then there was the time I decided I wanted to ride my bike to my grandparents house, where I was staying while my parents were away. In the car, it always seemed like such a short ride. My Grammy once again trailed behind me in the car and said nothing when three quarters of the way there, I fell off my bike and asked to get in the car. She helped me load the bike in and that was that. I am so thankful that she was never the type to say “I told you so”.
When I would stay with Grammy and Papa, they stayed up late and Grammy always slept in. Papa on the other hand, used to be a pharmacist. When I was younger, I’d watch as he got himself ready to go to work. I’d be eating my cereal and watching tv and he would sit down on the couch behind me, change the channel, and start to put on his socks and shoes. I’d always give him a hard time about changing the channel on me, but it was our routine and I loved it. I knew that when he was done, we would go out to the car together and he would drive me to school. It was a short drive but I loved every minute I got to spend in the car with my Papa (and I still do).
My cousins and I had wild imaginations. We used to think there was a “snake hole” in the backyard and we would terrify each other by yelling “there’s a snake behind you!” We also had a secret game called “Camp”. The game had to be a secret because we weren’t allowed to be mean to one another but for some reason, I was given the role of the mean counselor… and of course, since I was one of the older grandkids, it would have been my fault for being a bad influence if we were caught… I guess the secret’s out now, but we all turned out okay.
Another rule of “Camp” was that we could only play when at least 4 of the 8 grandchildren were there. Although a seemingly arbitrary rule, it made sense as two lived out of state and two lived over two hours away. Due to this rule, when my little cousins Avery and Jordan and I were alone, we would play a game that had no name. The point of the game was for them to call up a “store” and be rich little girls who wanted very specific things (I have finally realized that a Lou Baton Backpack was meant to be a Louie Vitton Backpack) and my job was to make them laugh… typically by saying “WAZZUP????????????” The game never seemed to get very far, but we always had fun.
One of my favorite things growing up with younger cousins had to have been how we used to get them to take naps. They would go lie down in one of the bedrooms and I would be sent to lie down in Grammy and Papa’s room. Once they were sleeping, I was allowed to turn the tv on really low and just before they were woken up, we’d turn the tv back off. I’m sure the same was done to make me go to sleep when I was younger, but it was a defining moment. For me, it was the moment that I became a “big girl”.
Of course… that “big girl” still slept in the crib sometimes if there were too many people sleeping over at once, but that was because I was tiny NOT because I was a baby!
Being part of a large Jewish family meant lots of holidays with lots of people and we always gathered at Grammy and Papa’s. There were parts about preparation for the holidays that I always loved. I loved crushing corn flakes for the Noodle Kugel. I enjoyed setting the table and LOVED making place cards for everyone. I also liked helping out in the kitchen, although I often tired of it long before the work was done. While I’ve never done well in large groups of people, I always tried with my family. Unfortunately, more often than not I became overwhelmed and had to leave the table, but family has always been my top priority and so I always would return. Another step into being a “big kid” was when we got to move from the picnic bench to a real chair and so I always anxiously awaited that moment. I would put my place card in front of a real chair every time and somehow, I was still relegated to the bench more often than I would care to admit… but even if these memories aren’t the brightest and shiniest, I treasure every holiday and occassion I got to spend with my family, especially now when I spend most, if not all of my holidays alone.
There is one memory though that stands out so well in my mind and is one that I feel the emotions for even now, even here in Texas, even just as I start to think about it. My Great Nana’s 90th birthday party was an amazing night. It might just have been the happiest I ever got to see her. Her old boss, Michael I think, was able to come and he not only presented her with an award, but he spent the entire night flirting with her. His face was bright red all night long. She was so tickled to have him there. She wore a crown made of tinsel and there was a HUGE sheet cake with every name anyone called her. The look on her face that night is forever burned into my memory and that is one of my most favorite memories of all.
