Sometimes Aspergers Just Sucks

I love my new (second) job! It's perfect for someone with Aspergers. I roll silverware at one of my favorite restaurants.  It's great for me because I don't have to worry about talking to other people. At this job, as opposed to my full time job, I can sit and get my work done in a relatively relaxed manner. Even better, I get to sit and listen to movies on my phone while I'm rolling and I'm surrounded by the comforting smells of some of my favorite foods.

I follow a routine. Knife under fork, ridges on the knife face right, straw wrapper facing left and tucked underneath the knife's ridges, bottom corner folded up, left side crosses over, then roll and place napkin ring in a clockwise fashion with the sticky side at 12 o-clock. I make sure that every roll is neat and tidy. I make sure that no knives are sticking out, no napkins are coming undone, and the silverware is clean. It may take me a little longer than other employees to roll the silverware, but mine is OCD approved.

So if I'm loving my new job and it's so great for a person with Aspergers, why does Aspergers suck?

I got to work this morning and it was like any other. I made my way around the dining area with a spray bottle and a rag. I cleaned each table, booth, and seat. I said hello to the dishwasher and went into my "area" to get started. The dishwasher had already brought one tray of silverware into the room for me and proceeded to bring two more in.

Because I'm so small in stature, I rely on the dishwashers to bring the silverware to me, as it is typically washed in large trays that are very wide and very heavy when wet. I didn't really pay attention to where the dishwasher put the silverware; I just set about drying it off and sorting it so I would be able to quickly roll it.

I should have paid attention. The trays were on the floor. Okay... well they've been there before... no biggie...

BIGGIE!

As I was sorting the silverware, a man came into the room, looked around, and asked me if I could fit the silverware trays on the table. The table was overflowing with restaurant supplies. In my mind, it was comical that he would even ask. I didn't know this man from Adam and I replied that there wasn't room and thought nothing more of it. Employees come in all the time and tell me the silverware is in their way. I was working quickly to move it, but couldn't move any faster than I already was.

Then the man came back... the general manager was with him. He wasn't happy. He said something about the area not being right and they left. When one of my co-workers came in, I asked who the man was. He was the FREAKING HEALTH INSPECTOR! While I realize that we should be able to pass an inspection whether or not we know the inspector is there, I was very upset that no one had warned me that he was there. No one had come in to make sure that everything was okay for the inspection. In my mind, it was poorly handled...

But that didn't stop me from feeling horrible about it. All day, I kept replaying the interaction in my mind, trying to find clues that the man was the health inspector. He was not in a restaurant uniform. He carried a clipboard. He was wearing a jacket with an insignia on it, although I didn't focus on the insignia closely enough to remember it. I also kept replaying my response. If I was asked a question that didn't make sense to me (in this case because it seemed the answer was obvious) perhaps the better answer would have been: "let me get one of the guys to help move this large bag of sugar that's taking up half the table space and then the silverware trays will fit." Of course, hindsight is 20/20, but I am still obsessing.

In fact, my manager told me that if the inspector comes back and sees the silverware trays on the ground again, she will lose her job. WHICH MAKES ME FEEL HORRIBLE! And although the dishwasher was the one who placed the silverware trays in the offending spot, I still allowed them to stay put.

Sometimes I really wish I could pick up on subtleties...

Sometimes, Aspergers just sucks.