I’ve always approached new things with trepidation. Will I
be good enough? Will people be nice to me? Will I feel safe and comfortable?
Those are just three of the endless number of questions that race through my
mind when I am faced with change.
This past week has been no different. I took a huge leap of
faith. I left the pizzeria that I’ve been working at for over a year, in favor
of a job at a nicer, more upscale restaurant. As important as it was for me to
do this, it was also a decision that did not come easy. I’ve been “attempting
to leave” the pizzeria for about four months, but it’s hard for me to leave the
known for the unknown. Fortunately, I finally shut my brain up long enough to
listen to my heart.
So giving notice and preparing to leave the predictable was
done... but the hard parts were still to come. There’s always the question of “do
I tell my co-workers about my Aspergers?” Of course management knows; but is it
something I’m ready and willing to share? There’s also the question of presentation;
that is, “how do I present myself?” I know I’m an uptight worker who wants to
do everything perfectly... but I also know that the personality I just
described is the cause of 99% of the problems I have with my co-workers. Is it
possible for me to start anew at this new job and not show the side of myself
that’s anal-retentive? If I am able to conceal that part of myself and people
want to become friendly, how do I do that? How do I go about fitting in? So
many questions flooded my mind and I hadn’t even gotten to job related
questions yet.
I am pleasantly surprised to say: not only did my first two
days go better than expected; I have not one bad thing to report. I found
myself in an amazing environment. At first things were a bit difficult. I didn’t
quite understand all of what my trainer was saying. I took some of it too
literally... as usual... but after explaining that I have Aspergers, she
immediately changed her approach. As it turns out, she has two brothers on the
spectrum as well. Not only is she incredibly sensitive to my situation and my
needs; she made sure that I knew that if ANYONE gave me a hard time I was to
let her know immediately because she would not tolerate it. Other than my mom,
I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before.
Another long-time employee was standing near us when I told
her about my Aspergers. He attempted to be helpful (he really did) by taking it
to management and asking whether we should disclose to the entire staff.
Thankfully I had the courage to speak up and say that I had intended on telling
the three hostesses I’d be working with on a daily basis and leaving it with
that unless it became necessary to disclose to others. It was a much smoother
conversation than any others I’ve had on the topic.
Another thing that made my time so special was meeting a
woman named Ashley. This woman is on the spectrum and eats at the restaurant
every day. She often sits for hours, drawing pictures for the staff, chatting,
entertaining herself... but what really surprised and inspired me was when I
was told that Ashley sometimes works for the restaurant. Any company that will
take someone with needs like hers under their wing is a company I want to be a
part of.
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