Obsessions

Obsessions

Today's Topic: Numbers

Obsessions... we all have them (if you're on the spectrum... or sometimes even if you're not). One of the reasons that my Aspergers was not caught earlier was that I didn't seem to have the "typical signs of Aspergers" such as strange obsessions. The truth was, I was already so different that I just hid them really well. 

I do consider myself lucky in a way. I do not have one obsession that fills my thoughts. I do not bore people by talking about my obsessions incessantly... that said, I sometimes feel like it's worse obsessing alone.  

I spent my adolescence obsessing (unintentionally of course) over everything that happened to me. I could never let anything go. Forgive and forget was not an option for me. I would replay scenarios over and over in my head, rubbing salt on the wound each time, and never allowing myself to forget. It's still hard for me to not obsess. My auditory photographic memory makes it even harder. Bad news, insults, rude comments all play over and over again in my mind like a skipping record. I called my mother one day crying, saying that I couldn't turn it off. She didn't understand; I meant I couldn't turn off the record. I couldn't stop the barrage of insults from playing in my mind. 

As I got older, I noticed "quirks". I hate math but I love numbers. I am obsessed with data and statistics. I worked at a movie theatre in the box office for 6 and a half years. I would chart the sales at my theatre (I worked in 3 different locations during the 6 year period) and compare them to the national box office charts. I always wanted to know why a movie would sell so well in our market and do so terribly nationwide or vice versa how a movie could be number one nationwide and be playing to empty theatres all day in our location. Using the numbers, plots, genres, population data, and a lot of other information, I devised a way of predicting which movies would play best in each theatre I worked in. For me, it became a contest. Would my predictions be right? Would my predictions match the actual box office numbers (and would they match the national numbers)? I know, it sounds lame, but to me it was exhilarating. 

Now, I work in sales at an electronics company. My main focus is computers, networking, digital imaging, and mobile entertainment. Numbers are still always on my mind. When I walked in for my interview, I politely but firmly asked whether or not the employees were still on commission (I had interviewed 6 years earlier for the same company and turned down the job because I didn't want to be in a position where I had to take advantage of people and sell them a more expensive product than they needed just so that I could make money). I explained to the hiring manager that if they still worked on commission, I would not waste his time, but if the employees no longer worked on commission, I would love to speak with him about a job opportunity. Looking back, that was risky, but I wasn't about to compromise my morals. 

All the same, I still focus on numbers. I check my numbers every day. I check the breakdown. I want to know my services attach rate, my margin per hour, my units per transaction... everything. I look at those numbers and feel pride... then I look at those numbers and tell myself what I need to work on. 

The obsession goes further than sales numbers though. I pay close attention to how many of each device we receive and how quickly they sell. I have observed that certain companies (I can't say names) create their own supply and demand by intentionally shipping less items than the demand calls for. This creates a frenzy to get the item because it's seen as rare or special. Personally, when I see a company do this, I immediately take note so that I never fall for their rouse. I also take note of the number of sales that we have for products that are not in stock. Yes, I realize that our truck comes on Fridays and our ad is released on Sundays, but the company has to know what the sales are going to be ahead of time. In this vein, I see sales being created to generate foot traffic into the store (bringing customers in for an item that we don't actually have) to create opportunity for a sales pitch. I love the company I work for, but unfortunately, these are the things that I see because of the way that my brain works. 

One final thought tonight. I am one person interpreting these numbers and patterns. I am applying basics of business and economics to the patterns that I see to try and make sense of things. While I believe the conclusions I've reached, Aspergers in general causes mass misunderstandings on a daily basis. It's very possible that my obsession with understanding these numbers is so strong that I'm seeing connections that are not really there. I guess I'll never know for certain.