Rules

Rules

Ever since I was little, I've had a somewhat unhealthy obsession with following the rules. In kindergarten, I was given the all important task of being the last kid in line and shutting the lights and the door when we left the classroom. A boy in my class (whom I began to see as my mortal enemy) decided that he was going to be last in line and refused to leave the classroom. Knowing that my teacher had entrusted me with this seemingly prestigious honor and expected me to carry out her wishes, I steadfastly refused to leave the classroom as well, repeatedly telling him that I was to be the last one out of the room. We both ended up in the principal's office over it. That was the one and only time I ever got in trouble at school.

Growing up, I continued to be the ever obedient, rule-following automaton. When my dance teacher told us to practice our splits every day, twice a day (when we brushed our teeth) I obeyed without a second thought. If I missed a time, I would actually feel guilty about it. When my grandparents and parents decided that Rugrats was a bad influence and my brother and I were not to watch it, I made certain that if it came on and I was in the room, it was turned off. I came home from school every day and did every bit of my homework before doing anything else. I never tiptoed over the line between good and bad behavior. I've always been a terrible liar. The one time my "friends" convinced me to sneak out, I refused. They made up some stupid lie about how I wanted to go see my boyfriend at the mall (so their parents dropped me off there and dropped everyone else at the movie theatre... then they all walked to the mall to meet me)... meanwhile, my mom and dad had met me at the mall and I had already told them everything. They said they'd stay. Later that night, when boys arrived and my "friends" started behaving poorly, I immediately called my mom and dad to come get me. 

...In college, I never went to a party or even had a drink. 

So why all this thinking about rules? Tonight at work, something so small set me off, but knowing my history with rules, it makes so much sense. At about 7:10, they told us that there was a suggestive selling competition that would end at 8pm. At 7:58, I sold the item that would have led to a victory, but 8pm came and no one said anything to me. At 8:03pm, one of the other girls sold that same item and was given the win and the prize. 

I didn't care so much about the prize; I was upset because I felt like they didn't like the winner, so they waited for someone else to win. If a contest ends at 8, it ends at 8. It doesn't end at 7:59 and it doesn't end at 8:01. I felt like it was rigged against me and the whole thing was unfair. Even the customer who purchased the item was upset at the outcome. Additionally, I'm very apprehensive about all relationships I think I have, as I was misinterpreting relationships at my other job. My co-workers got upset, thinking I was just sore about not winning, but I would have been fine losing if it was within the rules of the contest. I just don't understand how an 8:03 sale qualifies as a winner in a contest that ENDED three minutes earlier!