Invisible No More

As someone who went to school for "Disabilities Studies", I have a unique view of the "Invisible Disabilities" situation. On the one hand, people with visible disabilities often say that they just want to be treated normally and that they don't want to be babied or taken care of. I can understand that. On the other hand, having an invisible disability is horribly lonesome and leads to massive misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Recently, I took a trip home for my brother's wedding. I arranged for my disabilities assistance with the airline several weeks in advance. I was supposed to have an escort at each airport and the airline staff was supposed to be aware of my "situation". Although I'm very intelligent, I am easily overwhelmed by airports. I am an anxious flier, so I have to take anxiety medication before a trip, making me slightly out of it to begin with. Add to that the massive amount of people, the confusion, the noise... it's all too much. (I need assistance at security because I can't stand being touched, but there's not always a way around that.) Every time I've flown in the past, my mom has made my accommodations and they've always been executed well. Unfortunately, the one time I handled my own accommodations, everything became disastrous.

Other than my anxious movements and my headphones to block out the excessive noise, I appear normal. When I got off my first flight, I met the escorts as planned. As always, I told them I would walk so that they didn't have to push me in a wheelchair for no good reason. That's when things first went wrong. The escort didn't seem to understand that I was in his charge. He was supposed to take me from one gate to the other. Instead, he told me what gate to go to and tried to leave me in the middle of the airport.

I realized what was happening and tried to stop him. I explained for the upteenth time that I was supposed to have an escort TO MY GATE and he began muttering "this is terrible" over and over again. I kept asking "what's terrible?" getting more and more concerned each time he ignored me. I was afraid that I was going to miss my flight or that I'd already missed it... but he wouldn't answer me. He had no issue conversing with the two ladies that were with us (a woman in a wheelchair and her friend who was not) but he continued to ignore me, except to mutter an occasional "This is terrible". When we got into an elevator, he finally responded. He said "what's terrible is you are an adult and you should be able to get to your own gate!"

I was embarrassed and I was livid. With tears in my eyes I explained that I have Aspergers. He didn't care. The women with us stood up for me, explaining that I needed assistance navigating the airport... HE APOLOGIZED TO THEM! Finally, the ambulatory woman said that she would take her friend the rest of the way and told him just to get me to my gate. We boarded a tram and he was still muttering to himself! I couldn't believe how intolerant he was being!

Finally I stood up for myself; something that is very difficult for me to do. I told him that not everyone has a disability that is visible and that if someone is on his list of people he's supposed to assist, there's a reason for it. I went through two separate discussions with two separate airline representatives before my disability status was set. If I had truly wanted to take advantage of something, I would have ridden in a wheelchair rather than walking. After all, WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY GAIN BY HAVING A HOSTILE MAN ACCOMPANY ME TO MY GATE? After attempting to reason with him, he STILL didn't get it! He said "I'm doing what you want me to do. What more do you want?!" I replied that if he still didn't understand, he never would.

I was silent for the duration. He was rude and ignorant to the end. After he finally left, I asked the woman behind the desk whom to contact with a complaint about my treatment. She was shocked by my story. The staff the rest of the way was fantastic, but I was still miserable. I finally reached the airport near my home and immediately called the number I was given.

On the way back, I was seated next to a man who spent the five or six hour flight playing with his own naked feet. I was disgusted and kept moving farther away and blocking his feet from my view, but he wouldn't stop. The flight crew knew about my Aspergers and could see my discomfort, but they didn't intervene. I couldn't say anything to him... I was stuck on a plane right next to him and between him and his family for the rest of the flight. It was hell! Upon reaching the same airport where I encountered the hostility and ignorance, I was stunned to find that there were too many people needing assistance for the number of escorts they provided. A man in a wheelchair ultimately decided to wheel himself to his destination. The escort with me attempted to "call a cart" probably 10 times, to no avail. We finally ended up running to my gate. I made it onboard the plane as they were about to close the gate (so much for my priority boarding) and was so anxious from the possibility of having to take a different flight that my breathing did not fully return to normal until I was back home in my apartment.

The airline promised to "re-educate" their employees. I don't know whether or not it was just to placate me. I'm hoping it wasn't because I don't want anyone else to have a similar experience. They also offered a travel voucher, which I grudgingly accepted... only because they are the only airline which flies out of my local airport.

Don't get me wrong. I'm NOT saying I would rather have a physical or visible disability. What I am saying is that having an invisible disability can be a real pain! I hate hearing "but there's nothing wrong with you" or  "you look normal to me". WHAT DOES NORMAL LOOK LIKE? Does my brain look normal? Does anyone look normal. What is normal? I just wish that people were better educated.

Tonight I sign off with the promotion of an amazing organization: http://invisibledisabilities.org/