My Inspirations

My Inspirations

I've never been any good at making decisions. One of my friends and I used to literally spend an hour on the phone discussing what movie we wanted to see only to change our minds at the ticket window. I would always start to stand up for myself only to mumble "never mind" when asked to repeat myself. I would start each dance year off with at least 10 different options for a solo song and would always have a difficult time choosing my solo costume. Simply put... Decision making... NOT MY THING.

I never had a consistent idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to do it all. Starting when I was just four years of age, I had a list a mile long of things I was going to accomplish. I wanted to be "a mommy, doctor, dentist, veterinarian for only horses and guinea pigs, lawyer, dance teacher, coach of the Buffalo Bills..." the list grew every day. Some jobs were added as an attempt to strengthen a bond between myself and various particular family members; but most just fit in with my ultimate goal of changing the world.

It has always been my dream to change the world. I know that sounds like a beauty queen response, but it’s true. As I proceeded through life, I dedicated as much of my time to community service projects and volunteer positions as I could. I have volunteered at nursing homes and assisted living facilities, a local bookstore that was unable to pay its employees, various hospitals, and for organizations such as The American Cancer Society and The Polycystic Kidney Foundation.

That was one decision that was easy to make. I've always wanted to help; always wanted to be involved; to make a difference. I've had numerous role models, too many to name here (although each occupies a special place in my heart) to help inspire me along my way. People who were (and are) major influences in my life and affected the lives of everyone they met.

People like Don: a man who took me under his wing at a very young age. A man who risked his life to save a cat that was stuck in a tree. A man who got out of his wheelchair to dance with his wife at his surprise birthday party-making his own surprise the best (and most emotional) of the night. A man who made my night by sitting with ME at his party instead of his adult friends or family members. A man who lives on in our hearts and in every prop he ever made for the dance studio. 

People like Ellen: a teacher at my middle school who took me under her wing on the first day of school (even though I wasn't her student) because she could tell I was nervous and uncomfortable. In a vain attempt at being popular, I played the other kids game of "ignore the teacher" for a few weeks, but soon I didn't care what anyone else thought of me. She welcomed me to school each and every morning with a smile and a truly heartfelt "how are you?" I always knew that she really wanted to know; she wasn't just making small talk. She always tried to help me fix my problems, no matter how big or how trivial. She attended my Bat Mitzvah, became a close family and personal friend, and when my best friend and walking buddy moved away, she became my breakfast buddy every morning before school. We became our own little family and she became my "Nana". She was truly a remarkable teacher; she cared more for her students outside of the classroom than she did inside. We weren't just her students; we were each individuals whom she believed could do anything. We are and will always be her legacy. 

People like Dr. Marcus: my Jewish mentor. When I was little and attended (and helped lead) Shabbat services alone or with my older brother, during Kiddush, Dr. Marcus would always take me aside and introduce me to everyone he knew. He would beam like a proud father as he told his friends of my many accomplishments and about my love for Judaism (a large part of which he gave me). He made sure that I was never left out of a single Kiddush (a tall task considering I didn't really fit in with the other congregants). He not only made a personal impact on my life in the ways that I've previously spoken of; but he also made sure that I (and everyone around) knew how special I was. He wore many hats, among them: mentor, teacher, friend, husband, and son. I don't think that there's a single person he met that he didn't make smile. He has certainly affected the lives of many people, all different ages and generations. Dr. Marcus had the wisdom of a 500 year old and the heart of an 18 year old. He lived every day to its fullest and always remembered to 'think young.' He was also a very determined man. I watched him go through years of physical therapy. As a student of his, I was sure that he'd succeed so we made a deal that when he was better, we'd go dancing. We never made it, but I know that we will meet again and dance one day in heaven.

People like Carol: my "other mother". When I went to college, my mom made sure that I wouldn't be alone in an emergency. One of her close friends from work, Carol, lived and worked near my school and had offered to be my lifeline. I was skeptical and against it until the first time I needed her. Carol dropped everything she was doing to meet me at the hospital when I was sick. She stayed with me ALL NIGHT until my mom arrived even though she had to work in the morning. She went above and beyond the call of duty and became my other mother that very night. She was someone who was there through the good and bad. Someone who had absolutely NO obligation to me but loved me anyways. Her love and strength inspires me. Carol was diagnosed with cancer and never skipped a beat. She worked almost until the end, keeping the seriousness of her situation a secret so that no one would be burdened by her impending passing. I wish we had known so we could have supported her, helped her carry the burden, and said our goodbyes; but she was a strong and steadfast woman and she lived her life exactly as she wanted to. She was and will always be a huge inspiration to me, an amazing role model, and my proof that I could be close to someone that I wasn't related to and hadn't known since I was a young child.

There are so many more inspirational people in my life, but these four are each particularly special in their own ways. If I described them properly, it should come as no surprise that each of them inspired me to be an even better person and that if I can effect the lives of even half as many people as they have, I'll consider myself extremely successful in my goal to change the world.