Not Reading Between The Lines

Not Reading Between The Lines

One of the hardest things for me about having Aspergers is that I cannot pick up on subtle cues. Today at work was no exception.

I was helping a sweet family. There was an adorable little boy, 2 years old, with a blue cast and a red cast, one on his arm and one on his leg. His daddy told me they were Superman's colors. 

I assisted the family as I usually do but for some unknown reason, I decided to ask the woman (I assumed the mother) how the little boy was injured. I figured it was a cute story, like he had been trying to learn how to ride a bike and had fallen or he had tried to ride the dog like a horse. 

She softly replied that it was a car wreck. I apologized and continued on with the transaction, but for some reason, I needed to go one step further. I asked if anyone else was injured. The woman, who shares my name, began to cry. 

"His mother was killed"

I didn't know what to think or feel. I felt terrible that I had made her think of that. I didn't want to be the cause of her tears. She kept repeating that she was sorry... That she only cried when she wasn't around the little boy and his father. I did my best to console her, but all I could really say was that I was sorry and that she was doing an amazing job of taking care of them.

I felt awful about it all day long. I kept replaying the discussion over and over in my head, searching for some hint that there was a fatality involved. I'm sure there was one, but I didn't pick up on it. 

I felt so drawn to this family that I did some research online. I found that the little boy was named James. I found that the woman I had spoken with, Robyn, was his grandmother and that her daughter-in-law Brooke had died in the accident. I learned that the accident was caused by a driver who was driving up the wrong side of the road. 

The Abney family before the accident. 

My co-workers told me not to feel badly; that she was upset inside anyhow and that all I did was provide an outlet for her tears. I'd like to believe that was true. I know from talking to her that she was trying so hard to be the strong grandmother, the glue that held James and his father together after such a tragedy, that she wasn't giving herself the opportunity to grieve. I'd like to believe that I helped her, or at least that I didn't hurt her, but I may never know.

I am asking something very special of my readers tonight. The family has set up an education fund for James. I hope the story I have related has touched you in some way. Please donate what you can to this fund. He really is a sweet boy! 

Donations can be made to the James L Abney Education Account at the First National Bank of Ballinger at P.O. Box 680, Ballinger, TX 76821 or the Bank of San Angelo at 2635 Valleyview Blvd, San Angelo, Tx 76904.