Tales Of A Hardworking Aspie: Anger, Annoyance, and Driving Me Bonkers!

Tales of a Hardworking Aspie

Anger, Annoyance, and Driving Me Bonkers!

Having two jobs means having two sources of anger, annoyance, and craziness. I take great pride in my work ethic, but some things cannot be avoided no matter how good of a worker someone is. 

For about a year, I was afraid of one of my bosses; we'll call him Harry. When Harry is around, the kitchen becomes a solemn place. Work gets done whether Harry is there or not, but for some reason, he believes that the staff cannot function without him. Harry is always around when you don't want him there. Stop moving for two seconds, Harry's on your back. Take a moment to chat, end up on the receiving end of a death glare. It never ends. Most of the employees are fed up with him, but no one will say anything to him. 

Now I've never been a social butterfly; quite the opposite actually. I've been a social pariah for the better part of 23 years. I guess that's why I became so upset when Harry got angry with me over taking a moment to chat with a co-worker. I was confused, humiliated, and frustrated. I had been asked earlier in my shift to fold some boxes. I had been doing so for several hours and had run out of places to put them. Noticing the overabundance of boxes, I believed I could take a short break from folding. Apparently I was wrong. Harry began "calling me out", his voice dripping with sarcasm (it was so obvious I picked up on it!), saying that "[I could] start folding boxes anytime" and "anytime [I] need boxes just ask someone". 

Later that night, while talking to a friend and manager, I explained why I had gotten so upset. The way Harry was talking to me made me feel as though socializing was wrong. Everyone else has someone to talk to during their shift. I'm alone. My coworkers agree that if Harry had to spend one four hour shift doing my job the way he expects me to do it, he'd run out of there before the shift was over. I explained that, IF WE HAD NEEDED BOXES, I would have understood and would have continued to fold. Tonight for instance, we were short on boxes and I folded most of the night. My friend understands completely and said not to take anything Harry does to heart, but it's hard not to.

Harry has always been bad enough, but recently, a new manager came into the picture. We'll call her Gertrude. Gertrude is the kind of manager who stands over your shoulder scribbling on a notepad, but never letting you know what she's thinking. She's stern, strict, and never looks happy. I was afraid of Harry... I'm terrified of Gertrude. 

I hate it when people hover. Immediately my mind starts trying to figure out what that person is thinking about me or is writing about me. It may have nothing to do with me, but I always feel like it does. 

I did discuss my Aspergers with Gertrude. I wasn't hoping it would change the way she treated me or anything, but I did hope it would make it easier for us to work together. She responded that she had no idea about the Aspergers and would try to be more direct in her requests, but never followed through. She hasn't stopped hovering either.

Gertrude doesn't respect the schedule either. As you well know by now, I live by my routine. Every manager knows that and every manager knows that when it's time for me to clock off, it's time... but Gertrude takes her time relieving me and doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with that. 

So those are my issues with Harry and Gertrude...

Onto my other job...

Something that absolutely drives me bonkers is when I have a customer who doesn't respect my personal space. The other day, I had a customer who kept cuffing me on the shoulder (I counted 13 times). It seemed like every time I moved away from him, he moved closer to me. I finally couldn't take it anymore and I had to pass off the customer to a co-worker. That shouldn't have to happen!

The other day, I received some difficult news at work and had to quickly pretend to be okay with it. So, when I first started working at the electronics store, I was in the cellular phone department. After many troublesome months, things came to a boiling point when one of my managers tried (and unfortunately failed) to make things better by having an open dialogue to air our grievances... unfortunately it became a roast session...

The day of that meeting, I requested to change departments. Since being granted that request, I have found the computers and networking department to be my safe haven. I was accepted there and I had friends there who would stand up for me if anyone from my old department treated me poorly. Suddenly the other day, whilst talking with management about some recent decisions that were made regarding my department, I was informed that the cellular phone department employees would be training over in our department. I plastered a fake smile on my face, but it didn't work. My manager asked what was wrong. I fudged some story about just needing a minute to come to terms with my safe territory being invaded and that I was sure the other employees didn't even remember what they had said to me anymore (total lie). I also said that I knew I would have to work with them again eventually but just didn't expect it to be in my new department. Basically, I was doing damage control because I'm still trying to qualify for a promotion and won't get one if I can't handle working with everyone. I had convinced myself for awhile now that I was okay to work with those people again as long as it was under professional terms, but when hit with the surprise of it all, it was just too much.

 When things like the above happen, I just have to keep remembering the feeling I had the other day with the Abney family. I really do love my jobs; it's just difficult for me to get through a work-day sometimes.